Richard E Grant’s spectacular day-one own goal certainly gave his fellow contestants a crucial head start in The Celebrity Traitors, as the veteran actor’s banishment marked the first time the Faithful have caught a Traitor this early on.
But while this was a big win for those that don’t own Traitors cloaks, it hasn’t stopped the players from coming up with a stream of wild, incorrect theories as they scramble to separate the rest of the guilty from the innocent.
With the latest twists and turns still fresh in our minds, we’ve compiled an ultimate ranking of series two’s biggest and bonkers theories so far, with the most absurd moment taking our top spot.
10. Traitors tend to eat less carbohydrates
As some of the celebrities gathered for food, Romesh Ranganathan revealed he’d been studying previous series, and concluded that Traitors were typically eating less carbs. He then proceeded to examine the contents of Jerry Hall’s plate, and playfully pointed out that she fit the bill.
A ridiculous theory, yes, but it was clear this was just a tongue-in-cheek bit of fun from comedian Romesh. Still, given the magnitude of genuinely outrageous guesses we’ve seen so far, his commentary tickled us and deserves an honorary mention.
9. James Acaster thinks everything is a clue
The celebrities had barely arrived at the Scottish castle when James began sleuthing for “patterns and clues”. Whether it was a perfume bottle he pondered could be used by the Traitors, or a picture he thought held a deeper meaning, James was in full-detective mode, but confessed in private that he’d got carried away in all the excitement.
We know how he feels, but the comedian was quick to note that he could have sealed his own fate by being so outspoken. Luckily for James, he was soon recruited to the dark side instead – but he’s so far kept up the act of enthusiastic Faithful.
As chaotic as it was, though, there’s a way to go yet, and so perhaps James’s early spots will come to some use after all?
8. Traitors are recruited via shields and missions
James Blunt claimed that Traitors are being appointed in a very particular way, and that it all started when Julie was awarded the first shield.
James also thought Richard and Bella were selected by Claudia in the usual way, and that Bella recruited Ross when they gave him the captain’s hat.
Suspicions were heightened after the devious Traitors granted Ross immunity, putting him in the firing line when he led the next mission (despite the fact he nobly chose to save his peers).
It’s an impressively elaborate, plausible theory and therefore ranks low on our scale, but sadly, James is overthinking the show’s format and none of this has happened – yet!
It remains to be seen whether James will get the chance to double down on his theory at the next Round Table, as the Traitors are now considering him. Will he make it to breakfast?
7. Richard couldn’t be a Traitor because Jerry knows him too well
Having shared a long friendship with Richard, loyal Jerry Hall used this to back up her own hypothesis: that he’s known for his eccentricity and only announced he’s a Traitor because he wished he was one.
Of course, though, previously established bonds mean nothing in this game. Still, if only the rest of their peers thought like Jerry, Richard could have followed in Alan Carr’s footsteps and played a blinder in his role!
6. Jerry must have been recruited because she’s more animated
Once they recovered from their shock that both Jerry and Professor Hannah Fry had survived the night, contestants were quick to note that Jerry seemed much more engaged and talkative than before – and her changing the subject from the matter at hand and onto Richard’s exit also raised eyebrows.
While others correctly gauged that Hannah had been recruited, the consensus was that Jerry had joined the Traitors alongside her, and this was strengthened by her apparent lack of interest in winning a shield.
No one considered that Jerry may just have been too shocked over pal Richard’s deception – perhaps giving her a renewed energy for sleuthing?
5. James Blunt is a Traitor because he looks tired
With the Faithful separating into smaller groups to discuss their suspicions, Jerry shared that hitmaker James looked rather tired, adding that it meant he was busy ‘murdering’ someone the night before rather than that he was, you know, just tired.
Those of us who are permanently exhausted might just have to rethink our applications for next year!
4. At least one of the comedians is a Traitor
Hannah used her number skills to suggest that at least one of the six comedians taking part had to be a Traitor – a point Richard gladly ran with to take the heat off him!
It was Joe Lycett who became central to their discussion because “he’d make a good Traitor”.
Ah, we were wondering when this common-yet-rather-useless phrase, now part of the show’s lore in our eyes, would come up.
Obviously, the players have to start somewhere in trying to suss out the bad guys, and we can see why mathematic probability might be an appealing strategy. But as there are notably more actors in the game than comedians, why fixate on the latter – particularly when being a Traitor is all about performance?
3. Myha’la must be a Traitor because she winked at Richard
Michael Sheen was convinced that someone young was working with Richard, and pointed out how Industry star Myha’la defended Richard before then turning on him in the vote.
Julie was also adamant that Myha’la had been in cahoots with Richard, since she winked at him. We’ll give her that, although one would think publicly winking at your fellow Traitor would be far too obvious!
Eager to keep up the pace after that record-breaking Round Table, Julie made a pact with Bella to oust Myha’la, and their hunger for success, while misguided, was great fun to watch. But the celebrities fell right back into their old trap when, convinced of her guilt, they swiftly banished Myha’la.
2. Ross’s paranoia
Given Paloma Faith was ruthlessly struck down by Alan Carr simply brushing her hair out of her face last year, we can understand how Ross yielded to the mindset that anything and everything might be a clue.
Having said that, the group hadn’t even had time to catch their breath before he quizzed whether Bella had just ‘killed’ him by placing that pesky hat on his head at the end of the first task.
Later, Leigh-Anne gave Ross a friendly rub on the arm, prompting him to rush away, then return to ask the Little Mix star what that contact meant.
With his self-confessed paranoia in full swing, Ross’s wariness is delightfully bonkers telly, tying him with Richard as the talk of the series.
Even the Prince of Wales teased him for it!
1. Leigh-Anne is a Traitor for touching up her make-up
Before Hannah went to the dark side, she clocked Leigh-Anne refreshing her lip gloss shortly before it was time to call it a night. She then surmised that she must be heading to the Traitor’s headquarters.
Joanne agreed this was a good shout, and after Hannah asked her not to share that the information had come from her, Joanne confronted Leigh-Anne at the first Round Table.
From the comfort of our sofas, hearing this accusation over something so habitual and second-nature seemed outrageous.
Earning the number one place on our list, we’ll think of poor, innocent Leigh-Anne every time we reach for our lippy in future.
Celebrity Traitors will air weekly on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.
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