Andy Cohen won’t let his kids hold his phone. Scott Galloway sets bedroom boundaries. Mandy Moore says all bets are off on vacation.
14 min read
Even the experts don’t have a universal playbook when it comes to kids and screen time. (Photo illustration: Nathalie Cruz/Yahoo News; photos: Getty Images)
Is there any single issue in modern parenthood more hotly contested or anxiety-inducing than screen time? Considering everything from how your kids sleep, eat, learn and socialize is up for debate, with plenty of people waiting in the wings (or in the comments section) to tell you you’re doing it wrong, that’s really saying something.
In the era of social media, AI and staggering technological advancement, the stakes can feel daunting: Are we raising kids who know how to think deeply, connect with others and understand themselves outside of algorithms? Or is the next generation poised to become screen-addled zombies?
In reporting Scroll Time-Out — a special project from Yahoo about parenting and technology — we learned there is no one-size-fits-all solution, not even for the experts who study children, the founders who build our technology or the parents who are just trying to make it through the day. Families must decide for themselves how to balance principle with practicality. Most of us don’t have the luxury of retreating to 1993.
So we asked 22 parents about the screen time rules that actually work for them. We implored them to be honest and got a range of thoughtful responses, from strict boundaries to occasional exceptions to creative ways to untether kids from their devices. Ultimately, there is no universal playbook — but so many ideas worth borrowing.
Some rules are nonnegotiable
Andy Cohen doesn’t want his kids to get used to the feeling of a phone in their hands
I don’t let my kids hold my phone in their hands. It feels too good to hold a phone and I don’t want them getting that sensation.
— Andy Cohen, host and TV personality
In Tiffani Thiessen’s house, screen time comes last
We’re really strict in our house. It’s a little looser on the weekend, but there’s still a time limit. Activity has to be done — body movement has to be done — before screen time.
— Tiffani Thiessen, actor
Parenting expert Emily Oster takes sleep seriously
My main concern with screen time (my kids are 11 and 15) is interruption with sleep. Screens are not allowed at times when sleep should be happening. It’s so easy to get sucked into scrolling and stay up too late (we know, because it happens to adults too) and this is one I hold the line on.
— Emily Oster, economist and CEO of ParentData
For tech critic Scott Galloway, bedrooms are phone-free zones
We don’t allow our kids to take phones into their rooms at night. These devices are addictive by design, built by the smartest engineers in the world to keep us scrolling. Expecting a teenager to win that battle isn’t parenting, it’s negligence. And late night, nothing good happens on a phone. The phones charge in another room while the boys sleep. Full stop.
— Scott Galloway, NYU marketing professor and co-host of the Pivot podcast
In parenting creator Ssonia Ong’s family, screen time is earned (with books)
First, only our 16-year-old has a phone. Our goal is to delay as long as possible. My 14- and 12-year olds have Apple Watches that allow them to call and text trusted contacts. It’s a great middle ground for preteens because they can communicate without accessing social media.
When school is in session, there is no screen time on weekdays. They get an hour a day on weekends and in the summer, 1 hour of reading = 1 hour of screen time.
Our rules may sound insufferable (especially to other kids) but in reality, my kids’ lives are so full of activities like swimming, basketball, STEM projects, cooking classes etc. that they don’t feel they are being restricted.
— Ssonia Ong, mom of five and family content creator
Nilay Patel, the editor in chief of the Verge, knows a little ‘garbage’ comes with the territory
We have three main rules for our 8-year old daughter’s iPad use: we only allow her to use it in the kitchen, we generally limit sessions to 30 minutes a day, and we’re firm that she can’t play any games with other people online. (I do not trust the parental controls of any platform, particularly Roblox.) We also make a point of talking to her about what she’s watching on streaming services; she knows we think a lot of YouTube Kids is garbage, which means she’ll announce “I’m watching garbage!” from time to time. Which is at least progress, I think?
— Nilay Patel, editor in chief of The Verge
Pinterest CEO Bill Ready thinks we need real-world boundaries
Smartphones and especially social media don’t belong in classrooms or in the hands of young kids — we need real-world boundaries on screens so learning and developing brains come first.
— Bill Ready, CEO of Pinterest
Nanit CEO Anushka Salinas makes sure everyone in the family knows the rules
We are pretty strict about screens in our house for Shayan (8) and Raphael (5). I have a hard “no iPads except for travel” rule. TV shows and movies are allowed on the weekend. Having clear rules means we don’t have a lot of fighting about screens, they now know not to ask for iPads at home, and they get even more excited about travel regardless of how long the flight is.
— Anushka Salinas, CEO of smart baby monitor company Nanit
Child privacy advocate Sarah Adams is starting early when it comes to conversations about tech
My children are still young (6 and 8) so we haven’t entered the world of smartphones or social media yet. However, we already have age-appropriate conversations about what technology may look like for our family as they grow, including how screens and social media can affect their brains, relationships and mental health. I think starting these conversations early lays the foundation for a better understanding (and hopefully acceptance) of our family’s screen time rules as they age.
— Sarah Adams, the creator of Mom.Uncharted and the founder of Kids Are Not Content
But know when to make an exception
When Mandy Moore travels, all bets are off
We don’t watch TV or do anything like that during the week. It’s more of a special weekend treat. When we travel, all bets are off. There are no rules; they can do it as much as they want. It’s not a crutch, but it’s nice to have whatever is going to get us through the day.
— Mandy Moore, actor
For the Sprucewood Boys, Sunday is family lazy day
A little screen time ain’t never hurt nobody.
Now, realistically we really don’t do screens Monday-Saturday. There’s not enough hours during the work week to spend with our daughter so we opt out of screens until after she’s asleep. On Sundays though? That’s family lazy day. Disney movies play in the background while we play in our playroom all day.
— Manny and Stephen, the Sprucewood Boys
Model Nicole Williams English will take the help
I only allow my daughter to use an iPad during longer car rides, travel on a plane, or when I need to get ready and have nobody around to help me entertain her (I try my best but we have to take the help sometimes!). The iPad is strictly forbidden during mealtimes. When we are home, we encourage her to do more hands-on activities. I’m not a super strict mom, but I lean more into arts and crafts, dance, and social activities than screen time.
—Nicole Williams English, model
Practice what you preach
Health and science journalist Catherine Price is ready to be called out
From a very young age, I’ve encouraged my daughter (now 11) to call out me and my husband when she sees us on our devices in situations where we’ve decided as a family that they’re not allowed — for example, if she sees one of us take out a phone when we’re having dinner together. This levels the playing field and makes it clear that when it comes to creating healthy relationships with technology (and prioritizing real-life interaction), we’re all in this together.
— Catherine Price, author of How to Break Up With Your Phone and co-author of The Amazing Generation
Filmmaker Tiffany Shlain institutes Tech Shabbat once a week
In 2010, when my husband Ken and I had a newborn and a 6-year-old, we started doing a screen-free day every week that we called “Tech Shabbat.” It was absolutely the best thing we did as a family. We laughed more, connected more. Our kids said it was their favorite day of the week. The benefits increased the longer we did it. As we neared a decade of doing this practice, I ended up writing a book about it called 24/6 Giving Up Screens One Day A Week To Get Back Time, Creativity, & Connection as a guide for others. Our daughters also went to a screen-free camp each summer, and then as they got older, we went as a family to a screen-free vacation spot each year.
With our oldest daughter Odessa now working in New York, and our youngest Blooma in her final year of high school, things have definitely changed. However, now in my seventeenth year of doing Tech Shabbat, it’s still my favorite day. As technologies become more pervasive, Ken and I still find it very helpful to unplug weekly. It’s not only acceptable but valuable to step away from the instant gratification and intensity of screens. Tech Shabbats helped us transmit this insight to our daughters and we hope they’ll continue to pass it forward.
—Tiffany Shlain, artist, filmmaker and author
Lauren Jonas of OpenAI wants to protect meal times
As a mom of three, I’ve learned that the best technology rules are simple enough for everyone to remember. In our house, devices stay off the dinner table — meals are for talking to each other, not looking at screens. That same principle guides our work at OpenAI: technology should support young people’s learning and real-world relationships, not crowd them out.
—Lauren Jonas, head of Youth and Families at OpenAI
Author Erin Loechner’s whole family uses a shared desktop instead of personal devices
Instead of personal devices like iPads, e-readers or smartwatches, we keep a shared desktop computer available in a public space for all of us to access when necessary. This means we’re sharing the screen itself, yes, but more importantly, we’re sharing what’s happening on the screen. The result is that we’re all openly accountable to using technology in an intentional way to meet our individual and collective goals, rather than a passive entertainment source to distract from them.
— Erin Loechner, founder of the tech-free movement, The Opt Out Family
Give kids something better to do
Tin Can CEO Chet Kittleson goes to ‘Antarctica’ with his five-year-old
My wife and I have evolved a lot in how we think about screen time since I started Tin Can. We’re not anti-screens, and we certainly don’t judge other parents for the choices they make. But one thing I’ve learned is that kids don’t need to be entertained all the time. Our approach: let them be bored.
Mornings are a good example. We used to let our 5-year-old watch TV before school. Now, we don’t. A few months ago, I found him at 6:45 a.m. stuffing Band-Aids into his backpack. He told me he was going to Australia. So we spent the next 30 minutes traveling from Australia (the garage) to Antarctica (the living room) to an African safari. In Antarctica, we got eaten by polar bears, became polar bears ourselves, and ate the rest of the family. Boredom is underrated. Give kids a little space, and it’s amazing where their imaginations will take them.
— Chet Kittleson, founder and CEO of Tin Can, the maker of landline phones for kids
Fambot CEO David Reich wants his kids to learn self-reliance
Our family strongly believes in the power of being present and how important it is for kids to build self-reliance. We didn’t allow our oldest to have her own cell phone until she was 13 — which meant that she had to walk to school and back, and often take the public bus “without a safety net” like we did when we were kids. That forced her to learn the systems and how to take care of herself in a way that she wouldn’t have if she always had Google Maps or a lifeline to call. She’s also not allowed to have the phone in her bedroom at night and we signed a contract with shared expectations on how she’d use the phone responsibly before she got it.
We do get a lot of pushback as they get less digital time than their friends, but we feel the trade-off of them being able to build self reliance and solve boredom without requiring a digital device is a critical life skill.
— David Reich, founder and CEO of Fambot, an AI tool for families
Parenting expert Lenore Skenazy says let kids play
When Jonathan Haidt, Zach Rausch and I did a Harris Poll two summers ago, we asked kids ages 8-12: How would you rather spend time with friends? Online came in dead last.
To a great extent, kids are online by DEFAULT, not DESIRE. In fact, 73% of the kids surveyed said they would spend less time online if there were more kids to play with in the neighborhood.
That means WE are one of the reasons kids are online so much — we are not making it easy for them to go out and play.
How can we?
Start a neighborhood Let Grow Play Club: On WhatsApp or via old-fashioned postcards in mailboxes, tell neighbors you are sending your kids out to play at such and such a time, such and such a place (a park, your front lawn, the school playground…). Friday afternoons are especially great, as this can lead into an entire weekend of neighborhood play.
You can supervise or not — just let people know — but the other parents don’t have to be there. You will be shocked at how many kids leave their phones behind and come out to play.
Repeat, repeat, repeat and your kids will have the childhood they’re dreaming of — IRL, with other kids!
— Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow and author of Free-Range Kids
Eventually, kids grow up
Jack Osbourne realizes the cat’s out of the bag
That’s probably the most contentious situation in my house. My two older daughters — I have a 14- and an 11-year-old — are COVID kids. They got cooked. Their entire life from COVID up until now has been screens. They don’t want to have playdates. They want to do a group chat and everyone just hang out. It’s the craziest shit to me. It’s really tough to figure out the balance. At this point, with those two, I can’t unwind it, because that’s the center of these preteen and teenage social lives. Neither of them is on social media. I do not allow it. I try to limit screen time, but now that my daughter’s in high school, she’s got to be on her laptop. The cat’s out of the bag there, but we certainly try.
— Jack Osbourne, TV personality and producer
Pediatrician Mona Hanna has a few regrets
My kiddos are adults now and one of my biggest regrets is their phone and social media use. I wish we waited as long as possible to get them a phone and as long as possible for social media use. It’s very hard with social pressures. I’m glad there are increasing restrictions on phone use in schools and social media use — we need state and national restrictions to protect kids.
— Dr. Mona Hanna, pediatrician and public health advocate
Surgeon and pediatrician Dana Suskind talks to her adult children about AI use
My own children are grown and for the most part living on their own, so it is no longer my place to set rules for them — around technology or anything else! But I am fortunate that they are still willing to listen to their mom’s advice, so I talk to them often about being intentional about their use of AI. Whether it’s my daughter or stepson in college, my son in medical school, or my eldest working in the tech industry herself — I constantly remind them that they’ve worked too hard to get where they are to begin offloading and undermining their skills now.
— Dr. Dana Suskind, author of Human Raised: Nurturing Connection, Curiosity & Lifelong Learning in the Age of AI
